The Dirty Truth About Balance
It’s the end of the school year, and just like the winter holidays, it feels like the calendar is full of activities to participate in, special outfits to wear, and gifts to buy. There’s end of the year field day, an art show, and teacher appreciation week, to name the things going on this particular week.
And this year it’s hit me more than before because of my job in a preschool. I’ve got to keep track of all of Ember’s school activities as well as my own.
These weeks, I’ve struggled to balance all of my personal ambitions. I find myself having to choose between an afternoon workout or a writing session. On the weekend, it’s a tug of war between going for a hike or getting the house clean. The rhythms that have worked for most of the school year are starting to fall apart, and I know summer will bring a whole new schedule and routine.
And that’s the thing about “balance” I’m realizing. It’s all bullshit, at least when looking at smaller timeframes like a day or even a week. Balance is only found in averages. This week my schedule may lean more toward writing goals, next week I’ll get outside more to move my body. At the end of the month, it all averages out to be about right, but it never feels like balance in the moment.
I saw a post on Threads from a fellow writer asking others how they managed to get any writing done with young toddlers around. I responded with the insight I’ve heard over and over again that has helped me mentally reframe the times when life seems to lean drastically one way. “You can have it all, just not all at one time.”
I reminded the poster, and myself, that there are seasons of life, and they all look different. Just as spring looks starkly different from fall, one season may involve more writing while another focuses on family or some other priority. It’s the clinched fist hanging onto the idea of balance that leads people to burnout and exhaustion. I know because I’ve tried and failed.
So am I hitting my editing goals right now? Not exactly. Am I still sitting down to tackle new chapters each week? Yes, but not for as many hours as I’d like. Do I have any other time to spare, wasted time that would be better used toward working on my book? Hell no, every minute of every day has been accounted for it seems.
That’s the challenge…accepting the season we are in right now. I know this end of the school year wrap up is temporary with only two more weeks left to go. Before long, summer will be here and I’ll be able to carve out a new rhythm.
